--Auguries of Innocence, by William Blake
born May 14
Before the trip I remember thinking how quickly time will pass... and so it did and I'm back in sunny (hot & humid) Singapore.
Really love the cool temperate climate - rather freeze to death than be melting butter here. >.< Yes, enjoyed myself extremely! Great weather, delish yummies & fab friends! =D Have no idea how I'm gonna sort out the peektures though. Sifting through 13 gb is no joke ya. Hees~ We are all trigger-happy people and we have a camera each. =X Gonna attempt making an album... if I do succeed... ask me for it ya! ^^
In a nutshell: Loved Mykonos & Ams best... Mykonos for being a really romantic place and Ams for being a crazy fun place. =) Still can't get over not bringing my driving license though! And too little weed and mushies done. =X Athens was pretty disappointing, but heys, we had Sokkee's bday surprise. Videos up on facebook! Romania is a pretty quaint place; like the picturesque view there but otherwise nothing much happening. ^^ Still! Wouldn't have been so much fun if not for the 3 sweeties. Thankews for looking after, slow clumsy silly me. Love you guys to bits! *bEams
Missing local food! And chilli! Wishing for yummy pasar malam food and guess what! I was jogging and I came across a pasar malam being set up at BB Central. =D Lucky ass me. Will be whacking goreng pisangs and whatnots at my fave Bedok hawkers tml. xD Wanted to go visit Toy Museum too! But KNS all busy with exams! Ahs. April's entrance fees are at 50%! Nehminds... Pay more only ma... =X Can go with Roy or Fang next time. =) Dearest Fangs I miss you too! Have a great spa holiday ya? I woke up real late at 4pm today, too late to do anything substantial but yeps, counting down the days till you get back! *kisses* And is there anybody who wants to watch Harold & Kumar with me?! I heard it's freaking funny. =D and yesssss... it's all about weed and whatnots in Ams. How appropriate. ^^
8 more days before my next trip. 14 more days before I turn 21! Can't believe it. So old! Can't believe I'm actually getting Growth rebates or something like that from the Govt. Old.Old.Old. >.<
I wish I didn't have to wish anymore. Somehow Tim's entry saddens me so much I can feel the tears welling up. =( Owells timmy, me being silly again. Spoke to Stefano just now he told me how he's teaching this guy Salsa 'cos his fiancee who loves salsa left him so he's doing this in a bid to salvage.. Which so reminds me. =X
And yeps, I agree with Tim... when it fails and you do it again it kinda loses meaning. Oh! But when you really love somebody you wouldn't hold back and you'd give whatever you have 'cos you really adore him and you'd want him to have parts of you to cherish I guess. And every relationship is different... not that having a lot is good but somehow you learn. Although I'd rather not have learnt the previous lesson. =( It's too draining to cope with. Having a relationship for experience is very silly and a huge insult to Love but I guess when things fail you have no choice to treat it as experience ya? =|
Despite everything... I don't wanna be cynical. I still want my dreams of having true love realised.
She's kept in this quaint cottage, in the middle of the woods. It's always winter, and snow lies beautifully everywhere. There used to be Spring, so full and fresh of life and energy. Summer visited often too, with her bright rays of sunshine and neverending smiles. Autumn snucked in and out often, with her scents of romance, leaving tinges of blushing love in her sweet breezes. Now it's just a blanket of cold. Still! There's change in the air she breathes. At times the sky's so beautiful it seems like Spring has descended once again upon this godforsaken place. And even within the bleak landscape she finds the prettiest greens around. Someday the snow will melt and with it the loneliness shall go. Or perhaps she'd find the guts to leave and stumble upon an entirely new haven; a new bosom to call home.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Suddenly wish that we are only flying off next week.
Maybe I'm just afraid to leave everything behind.
Hmms.
Need to settle some unfinished business that has been luring the emo outta me. I almost deleted my invitation to his blog. They tell me don't read, but I can't help it. Anyway there won't be any updates there for quite some time. He's gone away... somewhere. Tried to find out through him and that's what got me so miffed. -.- Emailed his bestie... hoping to get some sorta reply. I guess if I don't then too bad la.
It's not like I'm hanging on onto/for him... but I mean after so much time together I still care as a friend and I've finally decided to just acknowledge that I'm just some sorta past dream that he talks to or conjures up in his blog. Mustn't mustn't let him affect me so much. =(
On a brighter note, been trying to keep myself busy for this week so that time will fly fly fly and take me on her wings to some happyland full of happy meals. I'm still craving for hotcakes! Supposed to meet Zhiwei for drinks after French today, but it's kinda late so we gotta postpone. Lucky for me too la, after yesterday's jamming I doubt I can take any more booze. My cough actually recovered but yesterday high till come back in full force. I couldn't sleep last night and I think I'm coming down with fever and headache. Boos.
But still! Jamming was worth it. ^^ First time I actually had the guts(albeit dutch courage) to sing my heart out, lungs flat, stomach dead. Hee~ felt good venting ars. Thanks guys, esp dearest class rep Viv for organising ar! Next time I intro you more angmoh songs la. =p
Had some retail therapy today too. I love Springfield stuff. Wanted the guys stuffs la, butbutbut. can't splurge on unnecessary stuffs la. Still spent alot though, mainly 'cos of the formal wear. Oh. and I couldn't resist grabbing undergarments since Robinsons having sale. At least I never buy heels or shoes hor. =X Wrote many "I Love You" notes to Mum, so she won't stun at the amount of clothes to wash. xD I started packing for the trip already! Scared last minute I blur and forget dumb stuff. Dug up old jackets from the depths of my wardrobe. Need to wash those too cos me particular about smells and musky cupboard odours equals ee-yer. =X So please! Grant me good weather si vous plait! >.<
Received a call from NTU today, telling me to come for an interview for my 6th choice. Which happens to be my fave Lit. Supposed to apply for SMU by today as well. In the end I'm not considering either. I confirm plus guarrantee chop I only want an overseas tertiary education. So I shall really work first. Even if I don't get the Credit Suisse opening. But I better get it la ya. Think it offers the best benefits amongst everything else. ^^ *crosses fingers; you all better cross too then when I get my salary you all can force me blanjah* 3 more nights to endure. Things to look forward to: Dinner with Roy tomorrow. Thursday shopping. And supper with Ean so I will remember to eat after French. =D and possibly a crazy Friday night. Sat's brazillian wax is scary but promisingly fun. And yessss... lunch at Rice Table. Yums. Can't wait to get well soon. For the booze and mad partying. Wheee~~ =)))
P/S: Fangs, I miss you! Haven't heard from you in ages. Like DINOSAUR AGES. Drop me an email when ya's free hokies? *hugs & kisses*
倒帶
作詞:方文山 作曲:周杰倫
我受夠了等待你所謂的安排 說的未來到底多久才來
總是要來不及才知道我可愛 我想依賴而你卻都不在
應該開心的地帶 你給的全是空白
一個人假日發呆 找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的門外 卻一直都進不來
你累積給的傷害 我是真的很難釋懷
終於看開愛回不來 而你總是太晚明白
最後才把話說開 哭著求我留下來
終於看開愛回不來 我們面前太多阻礙
你的手卻放不開 寧願沒出息求我別離開
你總是要我乖慢慢計劃將來 我的眼淚卻一直掉下來
過去怎麼交代你該給的信賴 被你親手緩緩推入懸崖
從我臉上的蒼白 看到記憶慢下來
過去甜蜜在倒帶 只是感覺已經不在
而我對你的期待 被你一次次摔壞
已經碎成太多塊 要怎麼拼湊跟重來
終於看開愛回不來 而你總是太晚明白
最後才把話說開 哭著求我留下來
終於看開愛回不來 我們面前太多阻礙
你的手卻放不開 寧願沒出息求我別離開
I wish dreams never happened. But I know saying that'd mean lying to myself. Still.
There's a reason why people use the word 'shatter' when dreams fall apart right?
Now I know.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
I'm trying to deal.
Having a cooling foot soak to save my poor feet. The toilet is a pretty inspirational place for me. Shall stay here and stone till all the feel is out and writ. Or till my lappy runs outta juice. Or till I feel inclined to shower. Or till the toilet seat gets too uncomfortable for me. Whichever. Haha.
Just back from a mini-class dinner at Wheelock's Fish & Co. Apparently, it's a sorta sending us off (to Romania and beyond) thingy. I like the mini class outings we have - quite enjoyable company is it not? Albeit we almost got into a fight (THANKS AR KIENHOE). Can't wait to try Rice Table. =) Love ya all.
I'm alrights... just in one of my moods again. Will update when I'm done thrashing out my wordplay.
Suddenly all the words I'm so fond of escape me and I am left with but a simple tune. Sounds Like I'm Okay, But I Could Be Better.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Almost 5 April.
In another 13 hours or so I will have completed the dreaded AFP exam and thus will be free!
Free to daydream about travelling, to date my imaginary boyfriend, to act on my impulses and satisfy my urges!
Hell yea!
I'm not an avid shopper BUT I'm currently having a really badbadbad urge to shopshopshop. ^^ Think too long never get out already. =XShopping List
MORE heels/pumps/flats/slippers/anything that can be categorised under Footwear
Bag
Sweater
Beanie
Satin blouse
Scarf
Specs
Lingerie
Accessories
Pretty stationery
Stockings
Men's shirt (for sleeping!)
FBTs
Body scrub
Eau de toilette?
Travel stuff?
Ahs. List is like neverending. Unfortunately, it just ain't the same case for money. But heys, I'm thankful. Lucky to get the opportunity to go Romania, to be able to extend go Greece and Amsterdam. Even luckier for Mum to give me $. X10 luckier for my godma to strike 4d and hence give me more $. So Dad doesn't hafta sponsor so much... which means he'd be more inclined to sponsor me stuff. Which means got $ for shopping. Muwahahahaha.
And you know what! X100 luckyluckylucky me. Went past Westmall after work today and spotted a decent pair of heels and pumps. So I got them! Last pair for both somemore! My gosh. ^^
I hope the luck continues... let me pass AFP and let us win GMC. hee~ *crosses fingers*
Alrights... gonna go have a great shower and start, yea I really mean START studying for the exam. Super last minute la. But I really no motivation!!! *sighs* Was thinking of asking dumbass to ton with me but I think cmi la - I sure end up talking cock de. Still craving for Chicago cheesecake! Hee.
Really gonna try to focus. >.< Which means no music tonight. Sobs. =(((
Tonight gonna be another sleepless night... but heyssss, on the brightside, there's shopping to look forward to, tomorrow's class dinner, Sunday's pressie shopping, KNS dinner, et cetera et cetera... *bEams.
Can't wait. Can't wait. Can't wait. ^^
*updates*
1:30am now. Barely an hour and I feel like sleeping. I look at the pile of notes and I KNOW there is no way I can sift through everything by tomorrow. So I think I'd rather just give up now than to waste any effort.
65 MCQs. 25% chance.
"I'm a risk-taker, a gambler. "
In other words, I'm suicidal. ^^
Too high to feel anything. Wowwwhee!
Nites~
Love Like That
12:57 AMLike You'll Never See Me Again - by Alicia Keys
If I had no more time
No more time left to be here
Would you cherish what we had?
Was it everything that you were looking for?
If I couldn't feel your touch
And no longer were you with me
I'd be wishing you were here
To be everything that I'd be looking for
I don't wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don't wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
'Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed
So every time you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you'll never see me again
Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you'll love me
Love me like you'll never see me again
Oh Oh Oh
How many really know what love is?
Millions never will
Do you know until you lose it
That it's everything that we are looking for
When I wake up in the morning
You're beside me
I'm so thankful that I found
Everything that I been looking for
I don't wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don't wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
'Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed
So everytime you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you'll never see me again
(can you do that for me baby)
Every time you touch me
(see we don't really know)
Touch me like this is the last time
(see everyday we never know)
Promise that you'll love me
(I want you to promise me)
Love me like you'll never see me again
(like you'll never see me again)
Oh oh oh oh oh
Love this song to bits. ^^
Supposed to start studying for AFP tonight.
BUT. =X There's always tomorrow!
And tomorrow's always a better day!
Jiayou everybody! Whee~
Was I overly-demanding?
Is this too much to ask for?
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
another empty night~
3:46 AMone moment i can be higher than the sky. the next i'd plummet into the depths of the earth.
i like the stillness of the nights. feel the soothness of his voice and how his guitar resonates in the background.
it's not that i'm needy. it's just another one of those times when you miss the intimacy of a relationship. when you yearn to sit in his lap and lie against his chest, hearing the lubdub of his heartbeat and feeling yours quicken. or straddle him comfortably and look deep into his eyes, just so to feel yourself falling all over again. or twiddle with his fingers and feel the mischief yet so much bliss. hold him that tightly cos you're afraid he'd let go. feeling so damned secure in his presence you never wanna let him outta your sight.
It's our god-intended right to be loved love loved love loved~
(I'm Yours - Jason Mraz)